This is Your No-Nonsense Buyer’s Guide.

We’ll dive in and purchase a Tesla used without putting our feet into water. Imagine yourself on a quest for treasure. Your prize instead of gold is a shiny best used tesla mode to buy.

First, why buy a pre-owned Tesla? You get the same VIP membership to the eco club as if you paid full price. It’s still possible to drive past gas stations in a smug manner, to enjoy the quiet drives only electric cars can provide, and to get lucky, to get a car which talks back to your. Model S and your quirky voice commands are definitely worth a look.

This is where things get tricky, just like trying to untangle headphones you’ve had in your pocket too long. Not all Teslas that have been used are equal. Some Teslas look like the friend from high school who never grew-up; on the surface, they are a good car but when you dig a little deeper, it’s hardly a decent vehicle.

Models matter. Models are important. Looking for something compact? Model 3 may be right up your alley. You can also check out Performance models if you are looking for speed.

It’s the same as checking how much battery juice is left on your phone, but more expensive. Teslas with worn out batteries are as useless as a chocolate-flavored teapot. Do yourself a favor, and get those battery health report or bring along someone who knows what they are doing.

Software updates are an entirely different animal. Tesla owners without the latest software updates would be like iPhone 4 users in 2023. It’s still a great phone, but it doesn’t cut it. You want to make sure you can get the latest software updates from Elon’s factory, no matter what vehicle you select.

You can choose between buying options like ordering pizza, or cooking it yourself. Both have their own advantages. The warranty provided by Tesla is a great benefit, but it can be expensive. Dealerships might offer better prices, but beware lemons. What about private sales? If you find a great deal, be sure to check that it’s not someone else’s problem.

Finance is boring, but necessary. If you don’t have a money bush in your yard (in which case invite me to come and see it), then financing is a necessity. Look around for a loan because banks often prefer EVs over gas-guzzlers, due to their lower running costs.

Do not forget to tap the hive brain of Tesla owners before jumping in. These people have seen it all, and they can tell you what pitfalls to avoid as well as how to spot the diamond in rough.

You now have a simple guide on how to get a Tesla used car without being taken advantage of. Don’t forget to be patient. Do not rush into any purchase without first doing some research. Unless you like learning things the hard (ouch) way, this isn’t the time. Own a piece of the future today. Remember to buckle up, it’s going be an electrifying experience.

You’ll find it difficult to find parking downtown on a Saturday evening. If anyone in Rain City can help you navigate this adventure with safety, humor, and skill, it’s them.